THOUGHTS ON HOMESCHOOLING
Homeschooling is not just about teaching your children education in the home. It is about thinking and experiencing what does it mean to educate your children for the future. It is also about understanding yourself as a parent in what you value about your children and what messages you are passing on to your children.
In homeschooling we have to balance the time between doing Chinese and English. Is our children going to be mainly English-based or Chinese-based. This is an important question as it is impossible to be proficient academically in both. I feel blessed that the Children can grow up in an Asian culture, which has its virtues. To learn Chinese well also means that they would have an extra edge in the future when China will have become the next superpower. However, since they will be going back to the US for university, we need to make sure that their core courses are all in English. God brought us here and he provided in this way more than we had imagined.
While homeschooling during my year off, there were many times were I got so frustrated over the children's school work that I lost my temper, scolded them, said demeaning words, and even hit them. I don't like what I see in my self during these times. Because of my behaviors, I am doing more harm then good. I have in the past done well academically so it was hard to relate to them when they just can't understand certain concept or make the same mistake over and over again from not paying attention to details. It is hard to be a teacher when one had not experience failures academically. During these times I realized that I value my children based on their academic results and not on just who they are as my children, as God's children. Many times I had to apologize and make right with them. I think I am become more balanced and my temper has gone down. The children still like to be with me and even ask me some academic problems. So I think there was no permanent damage.
I want to be a loving, unconditional parent. Homeschooling has taught me my shortcomings and reminded me the importance of loving one for who they are and not who I want them to be. So homeschooling perhaps is more about homeschooling the "parent" so that they can be better parents!