20,000 leagues under the sky, 2004- travel blog

Seven hours to cross the Atlantic, four hours to cross London, it just doesn't seem right! The "Entertainment System" on the plane malfunctioned soon after take off (rather that than the wings I suppose) so I entertained myself from the drinks trolley instead. By the time they got the system working again we were over the Atlantic so the route map was just sea and I had trouble focusing on the small screen to watch the movie that I'd wanted to watch so I decided to carry on partaking of the wine supply. The good thing about big planes is that there are enough aircrew not to have to ask the same person for more than a couple of bottles of wine and still keep well stocked. The meal was probably the worst airline food I've ever been subjected to; when I chose the salmon they didn't say that it came with pasta, pasta cooked to a slimy mass and some green stuff that I think started life as either sugar-snap peas or mange-tout but ended it's life as sugar-sap peas or blancmange-tout. The Indian guy sat next to me had a very nice looking and smelling bean curry, bastard, I think I'm going to tick all of the boxes in future and go for the kosha-vegetarian-halal-glutten-free-diabetic option.

I eventually passed out fell asleep somewhere mid-Atlantic and was woken up to put my seat back up as we descended towards Heathrow having missed breakfast (probably not a bad thing if dinner was anything to go by) and found myself in a slight pool of red wine as my last bottle was probably one too many. I could feel sorry for the people who had to crush near me and put up with the stale wine smell on the tube through London but then again they deserve it for being greedy enough to work in the city for the extra dollars.

Game-over again, probable next trip is to remove my embarrassment of never having been to Ireland but I do need to add an African stamp to my passport to make it a seven-continenter before I swap it for a pristine easy-entry version.

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